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If You Are Not Honest With Your Partner Than It's Not Really A Relationship
| One of the biggest reason marriages end in divorce is because couples fail to learn the answers to the big questions before they get married and even after they get married. nnIf couples would spend some time asking each other the questions that really matter and answer them honestly, they'd greatly improve their chances of staying together.nnA lot of couples are scared to ask certain questions such as where do you really think you're going to end up when you die? Do you really want to have a child? If I decide to start a band would you be okay with that? nnLots of times when couples do discuss these questions they're not always honest. Telling your partner you want kids before you get married just because you think they would be turned off if you said otherwise is trapping them into a false relationship. nnIf you are not sure tell them you are unsure. If you definitely do not want children then tell them that it's not going to happen. Be honest.nnYou will find that the happiest couples know pretty much everything about each other. They are the ones that don't complain about each other behind the other person back because they really have nothing to complain about because they know what to expect. nnShe knew that he didn't like going out to girly movies and he knew she didn't like going to his friends' house. There's no need to complain to their friends about those things because they know where their partner stands on it and accepted it coming into the relationship.nnI think that's why Dr. Phil is becoming so popular. He has that common phrase that you can fix what you don't admit. You have to admit to your partner the things you do and don't like and you have to be honest with them. nnIf they can't deal with the truth then the relationship is doomed anywase. Who wants to be in a make believe relationship? Where one partner insists that the other person is a certain way even though they've been told time and again the truth.nnI find that sometimes people are not even honest with themselves and that comes from not wanting other people to see you in a certain way. nnWe do not have to always be what other people expect us to be. We are defined by the roles we create for ourselves. nnThere is someone who fits into whatever role you are creating for yourself and that person will help you achieve it and not bring you down.nnSo start asking each other those questions that you might not otherwise ask. Start learning about each other's real desires and beliefs and listen with a non judgmental attitude.nnBut the bottom line is you have to be honest with asking and answering these questions. n |
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